I really love your library system in many ways. It is so great that I can request any book in a Chicagoland library and receive it within the week. That pretty much takes care of any book I’ll ever want to read! I like to visit your branch and browse. Your children’s room is likewise chocked full of books, and my son likes finding himself a board book. That was smart of you to put it within his reach! He likes to dump them all out of the bin. He has yet to learn how to put them back in.

But I have a complaint.

I really hate it when the librarians comment on my reading choices during check out.

Is it any of your librarians’ business that I’m checking out Nabokov’s Complete Short Stories at the same time that I’m checking out two translations of The Illiad? Or that I’m checking out all of the Brown Bear, Brown Bear books? Or that I’m checking out Possession, by A.S. Byatt, and The Handmaiden’s Tale and The Blind Assassin, both by Margaret Atwood, and Atonement by Ian McEwan, and Half a Yellow Sun, by someone whose name I can’t spell, all at the same time? Does it really require your librarian to comment?

Yes, I know that’s a pretty ambitious amount of reading. And no, I probably won’t be able to finish it in four weeks. That’s what renewing is for. If that’s against the rules you should have a big sign that says:

Please only check out material that you will be reading within the checkout period. You’re being greedy.

But I seriously don’t want to hear from your librarians otherwise. I know my selections could keep me busy for a long while, but must you always comment?

If your librarians don’t cease their annoying comments every time I check out things, I may just have to go to a branch with self-checkout. That way I never have to talk to a librarian again. Ever.

Besides, I think you are the last library in this country without self-checkout. Self-checkout is imperative: it eliminates annoying librarian questions.

Sincerely,

An Annoyed Library User

Oh, and I’ll see you Tuesday.

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