Death in Children’s Literature: Love You Forever by Robert Munsch

21Jan2009 Filed under: Child/Young Adult, Picture Books, Reviews Author: Rebecca Reid

In the picture book Love You Forever, Robert Munsch captures every mother’s feelings of unconditional love. I can’t read it without my eyes tearing, and I love the tender expressions of love. But I wonder if children like it.

The toddler makes a mess and drives the mother crazy; but she loves him forever. The 9-year-old talks back to her and acts like an animal; but she loves him forever. And so on. Even when he’s a grown man, the mother still sneaks in late at night to rock him to sleep, singing, as always:

I’ll love you forever,
I’ll like you for always,
As long as I’m living
My baby you’ll be.

Then, of course, she gets old and can no longer sing. The son, by now a father with his own baby, sings to his mother, reassuring her that as long as he’s living, his Mommy she’ll be. He then turns to repeat the scenario with his own little baby.

I really like this book and I cannot read it without crying: it is so tender to me to think how my son, now just one-year-old, will be getting old. No matter what he does, I love him and always will. And yet, I suspect that this is a book for the mother.

In one respect, Love You Forever does not align with my personal beliefs: I believe that mothers are mothers forever, even after death, because life continues beyond this one. Therefore, to me, the line should say not “as long as I’m living” but “forever.” For me, then, this story isn’t all that disturbing; it’s a mother expressing her love to her son.

But what is your experience with Love You Forever? Does any child want to read it, thinking about how their mother will someday get old? Is this image of death disturbing to children?

I’m thinking about this book as a part of my “Children’s Literature: A Reader’s History” project. I’m pondering the question: does death and dying belong in children’s literature?

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Tags: books from my childhood, death, family, love, parenting, reading to children, Seth Lerer's Reader's History

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12 Responses to “Death in Children’s Literature: Love You Forever by Robert Munsch”

Nymeth
Wednesday, January 21, 2009 at 8:59 am

For me it does. Personally I don’t believe in hiding from children a fact of life they will inevitably have to deal with sooner or later. And some aren’t lucky enough to be allowed to wait until later.

Of course, the way it’s dealt with is important. I think a perfect example of the subject being handled well is The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate Dicamillo.
Trish
Wednesday, January 21, 2009 at 9:19 am

I loved Munsch books growing up–my favorite being The Paperbag Princess, but I agree that this is a book more for mothers. I actually buy this for every mom-to-be that I know because it is such a beautiful story. I’m not a mom and I still get teary eyed when reading it!
Kathy
Wednesday, January 21, 2009 at 9:28 am

I can’t read this book without crying either. I do think death should be included in children’s literature because death is a part of life.
Natasha @ Maw Books
Wednesday, January 21, 2009 at 9:31 am

Yes, death should be in children’s literature. We all have different beliefs about life after death. Reading is the way to open oneself up to now ideas and how other people believe. We shouldn’t shield kids from the hard things in life forever. It doesn’t do them any good.

I haven’t read this book in forever. Now that I’m a mom I should revisit it again.
Smallworld Reads
Wednesday, January 21, 2009 at 11:25 am

I have always disliked this book. It started when I worked at a preschool, and the whole spring program was based on the book. i thought it was a bizarre way to end the year. A few years later, someone gave me this book as part of a baby shower and read the book aloud. We all ended up cracking up because some cut-up had to make fun of the old lady mother rocking her giant son. Anyway, I’m fine with death in literature, but this one never did anything for me.
Chris
Wednesday, January 21, 2009 at 3:23 pm

My first experience with it was at playgroup. All the moms cried. The kids could have cared less. They all thought the mom sneaking into the house was funny.

I have it at home and we read it occasionally. My daughter never makes the mom/death connection. She just likes the poem. I do too
Rebecca Reid
Wednesday, January 21, 2009 at 7:51 pm

Thanks all for sharing your thoughts!

Nymeth, I haven’t read that one, but in the context of this post, your comment has intrigued me. I agree, context is important. Telling kids about death can go wrong…

Trish, I like that one too! Yeah, me too!

Kathy, my thoughts exactly, though as Nymeth said it must be in an appropriate context…

Natasha, it was so different reading it now that I’m a mom! All the more touching for me.

Smallworld Reads, I wondered if anyone disliked this book. It seems it’s either a “teary” book or a “I hate it” book. It does seem like a bizarre book to bring into a school curriculum. I wonder who decided on that?!

Chris, Oh I’m glad she likes it! I wondered what kids think of it. My son is just a year old, so he doesn’t notice much these days!
Rebecca Reid
Wednesday, January 21, 2009 at 7:53 pm

Nymeth, my comment sounds funny the way I worded it. What I meant was telling kids about death could be unnecessarily tramautizing, when it doesn’t have to be.
Nymeth
Thursday, January 22, 2009 at 4:43 am

I agree, Rebecca. I actually think stories can be a really great way of introducing difficult topics like death. Of course, I wouldn’t introduce the topic by making a kid watch Natural Born Killers or anything But a good children’s book will allow a child to empathize with the emotions of the protagonist, so if the protagonist has to deal with the death of someone they love, in a way the child will be experiencing those emotions themselves. But they’ll be doing it in a safe context, the context of a story that can be put aside. And who knows, maybe reading about certain topics can be of some help if we have to deal with them in real life. I can’t imagine how awful it would be for a child to first be exposed to death through the death of a parent, for example. I mean, that’s an awful situation in any case, but they’d have to deal with both grief and the confusion of trying to make sense of a situation they have absolutely no previous information about.
Ladytink_534
Saturday, January 24, 2009 at 10:20 pm

I couldn’t read it as a kid because it made me cry but it is a good story.
Heather (Belle of the Books)
Sunday, January 25, 2009 at 2:48 pm

I think it’s a moving story, but agree its more for mothers than kids. I remember reading it with my mom and avoided it like the plague. My mom tends to be emotional and I never liked the “weight” of the story or how my mom got when we read it together. It wasn’t until recently that I even understood that the story had anything to do with death!
Rebecca Reid
Monday, January 26, 2009 at 8:18 pm

Nymeth, Oh it would be so hard for a child to loose a parent if they never had any exposure to death! I completely agree.

Ladytink, I don’t remember it as a kid. In your experience, were you “traumatized” by the death in this book or was it natural, just sad?

Heather, that’s so interesting that you didn’t realize the “death” aspect of it, even with your mom getting emotional! I was wondering how it came across for kids, regardless of whether or not they love the book!

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